Days like this

"Momma always said thered be days like this"  The bad part momma never said there would be days like this.  Days that are so bad all I want to do is find a hiding place that nobody knows about and hide my head and cry.  It seems like nothing is going right.  Work was slamming for a few weeks and has now slowed down once again.  Everybody is sick and dying or has died.  My husband and I have been fighting alot and just got into a huge fight and didn't work it out and now we can't fight because of the kids being around.  I feel like I am never allowed to be myself anymore because myself isn't acceptable to anybody else.  I am praying that this feeling will go away but I don't just know.  I am not the happy go luck optimistic faithful to God girl I used to be.  I fear everything.  Like I said its just a bad day.  Pray that this gets better

Aging

Its something that happens to all of us.  Aging.  As my birthday is coming up soon, to soon, I am feeling the effects of aging all to much.  My husband and I were talking today and realized our youngest our baby will be 5 in 2 days.  Our oldest is 10.  10 thats just 3 years away from a teenager!  Our middle daughter is 7.  They age soo fast.  But that brings up the issue if they age fast that means we do too.  I am just a few days away from my 29 birthday which means 30 is just around the corner (as I keep being reminded and I don't need to be).  But I love my life even if I am aging quickly.  So I will keep doing what I am doing and keep aging because one we can' avoid it and 2 I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Confusion and stressful decisions.

I haven't written anything on here lately because Ive been really busy.  Ive also been contemplating a big decision.  I found out a big secret Christmas of 2010 that I have been keeping ever since.  I don't know what to do because it really bothers me.  I don't know what to do.  I can't talk to my family about it.  I have a few friends I can talk to but its such a difficult and sticky situation I don't know what to do.  Ive been praying and praying but I still don't know.  Well I better get off here I will keep everybody updated

Think before you speak

Saturday I got my feelings hurt from a friend who told me I was a bad influence to the young Dandie Girls because I got "knocked up" at 17 and got decided to keep the baby and gave up my college career.  It really hurt and made me upset and then mad.  The reason I am posting this is to say something.  We need to think before we speak.  What I did when I was 17 was what I felt was right and still do.  I am very happily married and love my children and wouldn't change that for the world.  What you might think is a bad decision might be the right decision for that person.  Don't judge someone just because you don't agree with their decisions.  Ok that is all I have vented.

Life

Here lately life has been busy.  The kids are wrapping up with school work is busy Tommy had a dentist appointment and had 2 teeth pulled.  We added 2 chihauauas to the family.  I just got through bathing all 4 dogs and the cat so Im pooped.  I have a lot of stuff weighing on my mind and hard choices to make so I have been a little preoccupied.  I keep praying and I know the answer is right in front of me but either answer I choose could be right or wrong in its own way and have its on consequences.  Well I better get off here and finish my house work.  Hope everybody has a great day

Mothers Day

I am laying here on my Mothers Day thinking about alot.  Tommys momma is back in the hospital and we are hoping that she gets out today but we are not sure yet.  I am thinking about my kids and how I am so thankful to have them because if it weren't for them I wouldn't get to celebrate Mothers Day.  My wonderful hubby fixed breakfast for me this morning and is fixing lunch for us too.  He is so good to me.  The kids are helping but you know how that goes sometimes.  And I am thinking about my mom.  How lucky I am to have her.  We can't choose who our parents are but I wouldn't choose a better mom.  My mom does her best to take care of everybody around her.  And I don't just mean family.  Well I guess I do because to her she treats everybody like family.  My mother in law too.  She has taken me in as a daughter.  I am so lucky because I have all these wonderful women in my life and a wonderful family. 

Heros angels and civilians

Today I heard a story of a little girl named Maggie.  Maggie who had lost her mother about 8 months earlier in a car accident in which they were both involved in, was sitting in class one day when her teacher asked the class who their hero's were and what made them their hero.  When it came Maggie's turn to speak what she said stunned the class.  She said "My hero is Mr. Mack.  He's me hero because he held my hand."  The teacher responded to Maggie that just because he held her hand doesn't make him a hero and then Maggie responded again.  "No, you don't understand.  Mr. Mack seen the car accident that my mom and I were in.  He rushed to my side told my mommy he would take care of me and held my hand the whole time.  My daddy was out of town so Mr. Mack stayed with me when the doctor told me that my momma died and he was there until my daddy got there.  And even after my daddy got there he stayed.  He comes to see me every week.  That's why he's my hero.  See Mrs. Canny hero's aren't just service men and women and soldiers they can be civilians too.  He's not just my hero, he's my guardian angel."  The teacher had tears in her eyes as the bell rang and the kids went home.  She had a new understanding of a hero.  So that makes me think of my hero's and I have a few.  Back in 2006 my son Casey was born.  I was 23 weeks pregnant and he was born prematurely at home.  Tommy called an ambulance and they arrived and got me and him in the ambulance I was having problems and lost a lot of blood but he was going into cardiac arrest.  The paramedic got me stable and told me that my son needed his attention but considering he probably wouldn't make it he had to give me the decision to either give him permission to save my son or work on me.  Well I did what any mother would do.  I told him to try to save my baby.  He gave me 5 more hours with my precious baby and I know if it wouldn't have been for him I wouldn't have gotten them 5 hours.  I found out today that he lost his job because of me.  He knew the baby was going to die but he still attempted to save him.  His directors said he put my life in danger.  I apologized for him loosing his job and then he responded this.  "Given the situation again I would have done the same but more to have given you more time with your son."  This man is my hero and I still don't know his name.  I just recognized him today and went up to say thank you.  I didn't think he would recognize me but he did.  He is my true hero.  So I guess the real reason I am writing this is to say look around you.  You might know someone who is a hero but not recognized.  And you might even be a hero but not know it.  There is no gratitude to small that's not recognized.  You might not think it important but just think what you did was the right thing but somebody else might. 

Finally!

Well I am finally able to get on here and write again!  I know I said I would write about our camp out Sunday but things changed.  Tommy's mom had a heart attack early Sunday morning.  She's okay now though.  No surgeries are needed as of now and everything looks good.  They got her on some different medicines.  We have been swamped with work.  Luckily after tomorrow we will be caught up.  My dad goes May 17 to have is permanent port for dialysis put in.  Hes got to be there are 5 in the morning so I don't see that going well considering he is not an early bird.  I have so much to say that I can't seem to think right now.  I guess its because my week has been soooo busy.  So I think I better save my thoughts until another day.

Home early

Well we are home early from the camp out.  They came to us tonight (Saturday night since this is actually Sunday morning now) and told us that there were two storms capable of producing tornadoes and they were going to clash together right over the mountain we were one and we could either stay or pack up but considering the Weather Center CALLED the camp and told them we figured we better get the heck outta dodge.  We had 14 scouts and 5 siblings.  They all had a GREAT time and pretty much all activities had been done so they really didn't miss anything.  They got to Canoe and hike and throw boomerangs and bb and archery.  My ear ended up really hurting so I got to take a nap while Tommy stayed with Jacob and the other boys and families.  I have a really great husband just to let everybody know.  Well I am going to hit the sack.  I am sad that the boys didn't get to finish their camp out but honestly I am not sad to not be sleeping on the ground again.  This body is getting to old for that haha.  Well I hope everybody had a great weekend.  I will post more tomorrow

Getting Prepared.

So I am getting prepared (or trying to) for my sons camp out with scouts this weekend.  We have RSR this weekend and its our first RSR camp out.  I've heard its a really neat camp.  But given that its supposed to be rainy I'm kinda worried.  Hopefully it won't rain because there are supposed to be several different packs here this weekend and I really don't want to listen to all them wet boys complaining.  We have our truck and trailer loaded down ready to go.  Its Tommy, the hubby, Jacob, our 10 boy, Ray, a good friend of ours thats son is in scouts with us, Samuel, Rays boy he's 8, and me.  So needless to say the trip there in our truck should be interesting.  Then at 4 we are meeting up with at least 2 other families and we are "convoying" to RSR.  Im not quite sure where we are going so thankfully we aren't leading the way.  Well, its 1:40 so I better get off here and get my butt in gear.  I will post later and tell how it went.